Sexting can be a vulnerable experience, especially when sending nudes. The person who receives the image can share it without your consent, which is known as image-based abuse.
Keep in mind that once you send a nude, you lose control over who sees it. The image can be saved, shared, or screenshot, and it can spread quickly online.
The person who receives the image may not have the best intentions, and they may share it with others without your permission.
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Risks and Consequences
Sending nudes can have serious consequences, and it's essential to be aware of the risks involved. If you send nudes and someone forwards or posts them elsewhere, it can lead to crimes like blackmail, cyberbullying, and more.
If your phone's media is automatically backed up, photos and videos will remain in the cloud storage even if you delete them from your phone. This happened to a woman in 2016 when her cloud storage was hacked, and explicit photos and videos were accessed by a hacker.
Risks also come from other people who may be handling your phone, such as friends, family, or someone who might repair your phone at a shop.
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Consequences of Sharing Photos Elsewhere
Sharing intimate photos with someone you trust can be a vulnerable experience, but what happens if they share them with others without your consent? It's terrifying and hurtful.
You have many tools to contain the spread of your intimate content. Documenting evidence of the distribution is crucial, Women's Justice NOW advises.
If the intimate content was posted on social media, report it. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok have features that let you report an account or post.
Consulting a professional or law firm with expertise in image-based sexual abuse can be a good next step. They may be able to help you remove your content from the Internet, advise you about applicable criminal laws, or represent you to pursue civil claims or an order of protection.
Revenge porn and non-consensual photo sharing is a criminal offense in almost all states.
Risks of Sending Nudes and How to Reduce Them
Sending nudes can lead to serious risks, including blackmail, cyberbullying, and more, even if you trust the person receiving the photos.
These risks don't just come from the person you're sending the photos to, but also from others who may handle your phone, such as friends, family, or even someone repairing it at a shop.
A woman in 2016 had her cloud storage hacked, allowing a hacker to access explicit photos and videos she had sent to her boyfriend.
Even if you delete the photos from your phone, they may still be stored in the cloud if your phone's media is automatically backed up.
To have more control over how your photos and data are stored, you need to understand the differences among various technologies and apps that you use.
A safe channel for sharing intimate photos should be open-source and offer end-to-end encryption, screenshot blocking, and self-destructing messages.
However, even apps that offer some of these features, like Signal, may not be completely secure, as you can still take a photo of a screenshot using another phone.
Encrypting your phone with strong passwords and keeping explicit photos in an encrypted folder can also help reduce the risk.
You can also reduce the risk by not having your face, identifying marks, or belongings in the photos and videos you send.
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Sexting Safety
Don't show your face, name, voice, or other identifiable things like tattoos or personal backgrounds in your sexts to protect your privacy.
If you're going to sext, consider using apps like Signal or WhatsApp, which offer some level of protection against hackers.
DiscKreet is a messaging app that locks your sexts in a password-protected system, requiring both the recipient and sender to enter a passcode to view the photo.
Don't assume it's okay to send someone sexual content, even if they're your significant other.
Asking permission before sending a sext is crucial, and only send intimate messages to people you completely trust.
Deleting the sext doesn't guarantee it won't be shared, and Snapchat's ephemeral photos can still be screenshot.
Using a messaging app that blocks screenshots, like WhatsApp's "View Once" messages, can help reduce the risk of your sext being shared.
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Consent and Boundaries
You can say no to sending nudes and it's perfectly okay. If you don't feel comfortable sending pics, you can express your feelings and boundaries without fear of judgment.
Respecting boundaries is a sign of a healthy relationship, and a partner who is willing to do that is worth being with. If your partner is getting increasingly angry about you not sending nudes, it's a red flag.
Sending nudes requires active and ongoing consent from everyone involved. If you're underage, sending nudes is not only uncomfortable, but also illegal.
Here are some things you can say if you don't feel comfortable sending nudes:
- “I really like/love you, but I don’t feel comfortable sending nudes. I don’t like it when you pressure me and it makes me feel like you don’t care about me or my boundaries.”
- “We’re underage, and sending nudes is illegal. We could both be arrested!”
- “I do trust you, but your phone could be hacked or stolen at any point.”
- “Love is when you respect each other’s boundaries.”
- “My boundaries and feelings aren’t up for debate. I said no.”
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