Reviews:
Unbearably, painfully, unimaginably horrible
I've seen bad movies before, or at least I thought I had. I've even referred to a couple of movies as the worst ever made. Then I watched Caress of the Vampire 2, and it has changed me forever; whatever innocence was left in my blackened soul is now gone. There aren't enough adjectives to describe just how horrible this movie is. I am literally in shock, having suffered a fate I would not wish on my worst enemy. I may never be able to laugh or smile again.Don't worry if you haven't seen the first Caress of the Vampire movie because this "sequel" has absolutely nothing to do with it. This cinematic beast makes no sense whatsoever; I have no idea what it was supposed to be about, so all I can do is touch on a few "lowlights" of this curse inflicted on mankind by Brain Escape Pictures and Severed Lips Recordings. First, there is a flagrantly gay, androgynous fellow who is bitten by a great big lizard; he then bleeds all over a pale guy lying on the bed. This guy is none other than Billy the Vampire. Then we're in the office of Dr. Ackula, a podiatrist with an uncontrollable foot fetish, as he does nasty things with a patient's foot and then strangles her. After Ackula loses his job, Billy shows up to save the day, promising him eternal foot-slaves and then turning him into a vampire. A few girls pop up at random to dance, be turned into vampires, and play with each other's feet. Then Billy's agent comes over and decides to turn the disgusting mob of ghouls into a band; we, the incredibly reluctant audience, are forced to listen to it. Then both people and vampires start killing each other and eventually the movie ends (but not before destroying the sanity of the viewer). Throughout the story, we are treated to one-second flashbacks to things already having happened, we sometimes have to watch things repeated over and over again as if John Madden was practicing his coach's clicker with this movie, and blood appears and disappears according to some law that is not recognized in our universe, where time generally runs one way without hiccoughing. There's a little blood, as folks sometimes vomit ketchup out of their mouths for no reason, but this slight touch of gore accomplishes nothing. The makers of this movie figured out how to include every single little nuance that guarantees complete and utter failure. This film should be turned over to authorities and destroyed, with monitors watching from all angles to make sure the job gets done completely. This world is a much darker, more hopeless place as long as a copy of this film exists anywhere. I can't even begin to tell you how utterly atrocious this movie is. I can only warn you to stay away from Caress of the Vampire 2 at all costs.
So Bad it's actually...Bad.
This movie is well packaged, it appeals to people (like myself) who love "bad" films as well as people who love vampire movies and/or people who like Waters/Warhall-ish depraved sickness. But the movie just doesn't live up to the promise of the box, or for that matter, of the review above from Alternative Cinema, which I suspect was written by someone at least marginally associated with the fim...I'm sorry, this movie just doesn't go far enough in any direction to be fun or interesting. It's not "drole", it's not "hipster", it's not even sick, it's just very amaturish. Sure, bad acting can be part of the fun in a low budget effort, but here the actors improvise all of their own dialogue, so we have awful writing, as well. The filmakers here miss the point: bad acting is most fun when it's unintentionally bad, i.e. when everybody is really trying to be as good as they can. Nothing is ever clear enough in this movie to be interesting or even mildly erotic. The girls are not gorgeous, the vampires are not scary or sexy, the writing is beyond bad...what's really lacking is that one person who actually has just a modicum of talent who brings some fun or scary or stylish ideas to the film. A vision of some kind. Having said all this, I give the film two stars because 1) hey, they got it done and on the market 2) the music was fun sometimes and 3) if you happen to be a foot fetish person (I'm not) there are couple of scenes just for you, and that's fairly rare.
Very strange
A very strange movie indeed. I am still not sure what it was about. It seems to be about a movie vampire with a foot fedish, but I can't be sure. The movie was OK but somehow I liked the first film better. If this is a sequel they missed the point of a sequel.
CARESS OF THE VAMPIRE 2 is a must see.
CARESS OF THE VAMPIRE 2: Teenage Ghoul Girl A Go-Go has nothing at all to do with its progenitor, CARESS OF THE VAMPIRE, it's from a whole different dimension.Retrogressive /exploitative/fetishistic/counter-culture moviemaking is the tender title I'd give this bizarre little gem. Its droll and hipster attitude collides head-on with its raw, queasy and palpably sleazy visual aesthetic (this aesthetic is based on a complete lack of technique) to create a whimsical and revolting world where foot-fondling, blood enemas, vampires, zombies and capitalist greed and fortune-n-fame go hand-in-hand. Caress 2 is a sick, putrid and dangerous film - fun and "feel-good-ish". I think the danger lies in the disparity of the four adjectives surrounding "dangerous" in the previous sentence. I'm not an afficionado of this form of filmmaking, but I found it fascinating and peculiarly satisfying to wallow in its genuinely perverse (and perversely genuine) sensibility. I get the feeling that what I saw on the screen probably came as naturally to the filmmaker(s) as breathing. It didn't spring from the imagination; it just was, and then had to be captured. Nothing artificial, no preservatives; and bad for you!CARESS 2 follows the exploits of a foot-fondling podiatrist, Dr. Acula, as he sells his soul to Billy the Vampire from Chink Madness, who himself plans to take over the world (and "cut" a groovy hit single) by turning girls into ghouls. After the creation of their first girl foot-ghoul (Ruby Honeycat) and with the help of Billy the Vampire's record producer chum (Lon Strauss), the foursome collaborate on their first song, " The Ghoul Who Couldn't Cry". Ruby is just on the verge of starlet stardom when the jealous Billy the Vampire kills her (again). Billy the Vampire, in turn, is done in by the guilt-ridden Dr. Acula, who then takes his own life. Record producer Strauss becomes miffed at the sudden turn of events, but with his ditsy, dancing secretary, Miss Penela Pee, he forges on. That is until Billy the Vampire and Dr. Acula return from the grave to seek new victims, and wreak more havoc in their search for fresh soles(!)... If that's not a sick and fiendish scenario, then I don't know what is. The Severed Lips filmmaker(s) carry it out with dead-pan glee and fervor and with a "just another typical day" attitude; kind of like, "Hey! Let's make a movie today." (they probably had nothing better to do). Yes, TEENAGE is hokey and, yes, it is kitschy, yet simultaneously vulgar, distressing and harnessing an air of malaise. They make for very strange bedfellows, indeed. TEENAGE boasts no acting. Of course not! It would just get in the way. Good acting would have subverted the makers' intentions (hell, they'd be selling out!), and caused irreparable damage to the film's sub-amateurish charm. Even TEENAGE'S lapses and failures (can there be such a thing as failure in this kind of film?) serve its overall trippy demeanor and squalid qualities. If you are curious to see what is in all honesty (Really!) a harmless little film that will literally force a reaction from you, and make you feel SOMETHING - STRONGLY! (most likely at one extreme or the other) - then CARESS OF THE VAMPIRE 2 is a must see. -ALTERNATIVE CINEMA MAGAZINE
